For every human I’ve lost touch with, for every chance I got to run I took. For the moments that we could’ve shared, and for the texts I never read.

There’s still something I can’t quite figure though I’ve gone out of my way to try. It seems my need to withdraw multiplies every time I meet someone new.

Comfort comes with solitude and I have never felt more liberated in the company of these two.

They can say a thousand things about you, and they have. None of it good, most of it true. Sometimes I wished they never did, still I’m hearing all of it from everyone else, because I’d only hear half of it from you.

It’s still tough figuring out how my perception of you has only slightly wavered, and it’d still sting when it’s become necessary to draw that line.

If I was saying this to you, or by some obscure chance you happen to read this, I hope you know that a very small part of me still trusts you, and she still cares. She’s watching everything unfold from the sidelines and she’s always there if you ever need anyone for comfort.

This Saturday morning I woke up more carefree than I have ever been, at least more than I should have been on most weekends. I realized that this was the first in God knows how many Saturdays that I have woken up, not thinking about the emails that I forgot to send, or the 80 emails that I had to read.

At 11am I tossed and turned in bed and under the sheets, wide awake, but the trees were swishing with the wind and the sun was surprisingly, not shining through the curtains and onto my face.

When I finally sat up and grimaced with the usual head rush, I caught a sniff of my hair that was over my head and it smelt like I left the shampoo to marinate overnight.

So I went into my Mom’s room and went through my typical morning routine, without the frantic, sleepy rush that I normally go through on weekdays.

When I stepped out into the living room, I notice that the Chinese New Year...

In desirable circumstances, with interests more common than your own sibling.

Within these four walls, there’s warmth to be found and had, if I could hold it with two bare hands, I would walk a mile to offer them to you.

But it gets hard when all this time you spend finding something or someone you thought would be perfect and they fall just a little short, I will everything within me to see past them because they’ve done so for me.

Maybe these emotions are incapable of capturing this heart of mine, if all they need are directions, I implore you, to please, give me the map.

They’ve said it, they’ve warned you about it, and they tell you time and again, this person is no good for you. She’s the friend who keeps on taking, she buys you a cup of coffee on a weekday and you drive to wherever she is in the dead of the night because she got into a fight with her boyfriend.

She smokes her last stick and asks if you would buy her another pack. She texts you every minute of every day, ranting about the fights she always has with her family. You don’t have the right words to say every time.

Her boyfriend treats her like dirt, and he has no eyes for her friends, that includes you. You berate her, you comfort her, until the third of a thousandth time, you say you give up on her. But you won’t and you never will.

What is it about her?

She’s on the other line again tonight. What’s new, you ask yourself. I can only imagine how familiar her crying is to you. You’ve...

Ever had one of those days when it feels like you’re walking against the current and it just keeps getting stronger by the minute? Days like these are starting to manifest within the same week and I’m pretty sure I need more sleep than I’m getting now.

There’s no telling when something is going to go wrong, if it’ll happen in staggers or if it’ll keep piling up on you until you throw in the towel. On good days, the waters are smooth and you glide right through your typical routine. On worst ones, you’re getting the brunt of it from all possible angles, work, family, friends, what have you.

It is on days like these, I relish daydreaming about my future and what could have been, what could be, why am I not there yet. I ask myself all of these questions, constantly and I never get a resolved answer. I wish I had an unwavering soul that was free-spirited, fearless and independent, I...

Anyone who knows me knows, it’s been an ultimate dream of mine to visit the States one day. Well, for me that “one day” would, in a perfect life be today. Oh, wait, I’m broke?

Days ago I made the conviction to save up as much as I could to take me across the world to New York City. Of course, being the dreamer I am, I looked up the air fares from Singapore to NYC and thought to myself, “Well, that’s not too bad, only more than half of my month’s salary!” If I start saving right this second, means no taxi from the train station to my house, then maybe the odds of me making it to the great state would be increased, just a little?

I can just imagine, with a lousy camera that I’ll eventually trade out for my iPhone to snap gorgeous pictures of Times Square. Crossing traffic-filled junctions and hopping on the subway (it may break down but it’s no SMRT). Then the next day I would have...

For months on end all I looked forward to was getting the hell out of school and starting work. It was all I focused on, all I saw myself working towards. I couldn’t wait to see familiar faces, people I knew and loved, people I missed terribly.

My friends ask me: “Why do you want to start working now?”, “Why don’t you want to continue your studies?”. Cross my heart, I didn’t have a good answer. I guess part of why I was so persistent in going back, why I didn’t even give my time of the day to scour job sites looking for other things, things I actually see myself doing, 10 years down the line, was maybe because the 6 months I’ve invested, the people I’ve met, the things I’ve done and the life lessons I’ve learnt, seemed too much at the moment to let go. If I’m being really honest, it was kinda like unfinished business.

Fast forward, 4 months later, right here, right now, I can’t seem...

Sometimes the only comfort you need is an empty house and binging on your favourite TV series. You may not always find it in the people you love, it may not be a tight hug or the words that you want to hear at that moment. Kicking off your shoes and snuggling into the blanket can be all the therapy you need.
I for one would much rather be doing all of the above then talking my problems out. I mean, yes, discussing your issues with a friend can definitely be a great way to offload some of that stress, you might even get some great advice. But after a certain amount of time, the routine starts to take its toll and you start to realize that not everyone will be available or willing to lend a listening ear.
What surprises me though, is whom I’m actually comfortable with pouring my sob story to. You’d be surprised, I know I am, that these are usually the people I don’t see very often. These...

Though people sometimes say that turning 20 is somewhat dreadful because gone are the teenage years and partying around.

I don’t know if it’s because I rarely or never ever party around (Yes, I’m boring), but hitting the big 2-0 actually is pretty exciting to me. It feels good to say that I’m 20 this year, it feels good to be working and earning some money on my own (no I don’t pay the bills).

It feels good to be able to say that I’ve experienced certain things, and to be learning new things. I’ve been constantly fickle about what I want to do in the future, and being a half-dult doesn’t seem to instantly force me to make up my mind, if anything, I think I am more open to trying new things and making new friends.

Hey, one step at a time right?

It was a great birthday this year, thanks to many people, new and old. I’m learning to be grateful for the friends that I have and to be...