Nothing

Is it possible to feel nothing? Not in any specific circumstance per se, but in general - do you think that’s possible? If hearts worked like computers and you could connect mine to a hard drive to read it and see what’s in there at this very moment, it would probably be a 404 error.

And yet, I’m sitting here at my desk, writing this after watching Marley & Me for the 17th time all because I wanted to purge all of it. I don’t know what’s in there, but I didn’t like it festering. It was making me distant, irritable, apathetic, cold.

If there was a switch I could flip that made me instantly happy - I would avoid it. This is what’s going through my mind. I’m no stranger to love in all forms; the romantic kind, the familial kind and the friendly kind. Everyone I know would probably look at me and all that I have, stumped as to what I could possibly have to be sad about.

Am I sad? Is there a term for it? I cried my eyes out 20 minutes ago but that’s because I just watched the worst dog in the world live out his adventure-filled life from puppyhood to doggy heaven.

Well, I don’t know. I guess causality is not, or shouldn’t, be a recurring theme in emotions. Maybe we just feel. And we don’t always know why. Or maybe we don’t feel and we don’t know why. Maybe that’s OK.